“It is what it is” is a phrase referring to accepting that a situation happened, and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s a way of coping and brushing off future conversations about it, but are there other phrases you should say, and why should you say them?
Instead of brushing off the situation by saying “it is what it is”, you should consider the situation and approach it in a more thought-provoking way. Don’t write off the situation as something unavoidable. Instead, reflect on how it has impacted you, your environment, your loved ones, and anything else of value to you.
The rest of this article will cover why you shouldn’t say it is what it is, and what to say instead.
Why You Shouldn’t Say “It Is What It Is”
“It is what it is” isn’t a completely terrible phrase by any means. It’s used as a meme on the internet, so it can offer you a funny escape. However, in daily life away from the internet, shutting down your situations by brushing them off can cause a lot of mental damage.
A lot of people on the internet say the phrase is built off of misguidd logic (when it’s not said as a meme). They say that it’s like the speaker is closing a book on a moment in their life that could be super important. For example, they think the speaker doesn’t care about the subject.
With this in mind, you should try not to say “it is what it is” unless you’re saying it to be funny.
What To Say Instead Of “It Is What It Is”
Instead of saying “it is what it is”, say more thought-provoking phrases. For example, instead of brushing off the situation, ask yourself “what can I do to make it better?” or “is this out of my control?”.
Asking yourself constructive questions can lead to a healthier mindset. The more you push situations out of your mind, the more it’ll bottle up inside you and build up. There’s nothing wrong with saying it every once in a while, but try not to.
Here are some alternative phrases you can use instead of “it is what it is”: “Can I move on from this in a healthy way?” “Did I do anything to cause this situation?” “Is anyone or anything I care about at stake?”.